West Side Story - Gee, Officer Krupke lyrics

Album: Cast Recording (1995)

Gee, Officer Krupke!
Music: Leonard Bernstein/Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim

RIF:
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You´ve got to understand,
It is just our bringing up-ke
That get us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks,
Golly Moses, natcherly we are punks!

RIF & QUARTET:
Gee. Officer Krupke, we are very upset;
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We aint no delinquents,
We are misunderstood,
Deep down inside us there´s good!

RIF:
There´s good!

ALL:
There´s good, there´s good,
There´s untapped good,
Like inside, the worst of us is good.

SNOWBOY(imitating Krupke):
That is a touchin´ good story!

RIF: Lemme tell it to the world!

SNOWBOY ("Krupke"):
Just tell it to the judge!

RIF (to "Judge"):
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My parents treat me rough,
With all the marijuana,
They won´t give me a puff.
They didn´t want to have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapin´ lizards, that is why I am so bad!

DIESEL ("Judge"):
Right!
Officer Krupke, you are really a square;
This boy don´t need a judge, he needs an analyst´s care!
It is just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He has psychologic´ly disturbed!

RIF:
I am disturbed!

ALL:
We are disturbed. we are disturbed,
We are the most disturbed,
Like we are psychologic´ly disturbed.

DIESEL ("Judge"):
In the opinion of this court, this child is
depraved on account
he aint had a normal home.

RIF: Hey, I am depraved on account I am deprived!

DIESEL ("Judge"): So take him to a headshrinker.
You!

ACTION: Who me?

RIF (to "Psychiatrist"):
My daddy beats my mommy,
My mommy clobbers me.
My grandpa is a Commie,
My grandma pushes tea,
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress,
Goodness gracious, that is why I am a mess!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
Yes!
Officer Krupke, he shouldn´t be here!
This boy don´t need a couch, he needs a use for a carrear.
Society´s played him a terrible trick,
"Und" sociogic´ly he has sick!

RIF:
I´m sick!

ALL:
We´re sick, we´re sick,
We´re sick sick sick,
Like we are sociologically sick!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
In my opinion this child don´t need to have
his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

RIF: Hey, I got a social disease!

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
So take him to a social worker!
Vich way? Zat vay!

RIF (to "Social Worker"):
Dear kindly social worker.
They tell me get a job,
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means like be a slob.
It isn´t I am anti-social,
I am only anti-work,
Glory Osky, that is why I am a jerk!

A-RAB (imitating female social worker):
Eek!
Officer Krupke, you have done it again.
This boy don´t need a job, he needs a yeahr in the pen.
It aint just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, he has no good!

RIF:
I am no good!

ALL:
We are no good, we are no good,
We are no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!

DIESEL:
The trouble is he has lazy!

A-RAB:
The trouble is he drinks!

BABY JOHN:
The trouble is he has crazy!

A-RAB:
The trouble is he stinks!

BIG DEAL:
The trouble is he has growing

ACTION:
The trouble is he has grown!

ALL:
Krupke. we got troubles of our own!
Officer Krupke,
We are down on our knees,

RIF:
´Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease.

ALL:
Gee, Officer Krupke,
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you!

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