Weird Al Yankovic - Why Does This Always Happen To Me? lyrics

Album: Poodle Hat (2003)

I was watching my TV one night
when they broke in with a special report
About some devastating earthquake in Peru
There were thirty thousand crushed to death,
Even more were buried alive
on the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said, "God, please answer me one question,...
Why´d they have to interrupt "The Simpsons" just for this?"
What a drag, ´cause I was taping it & everything
And now I will have to wait for the rerun
to see the part of the show I missed

Why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?
Why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?

I was driving down the highway when all traffic slowed to a crawl
There was a 12-car pile-up,
everybody dead
And I saw brains & guts & vital organs splattered everywhere
As well as my friend Robert´s disembodied head
And I thought - Poor Rob,
I just had lunch with him
Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money- what a jerk
Well, theres five bucks that I am never going to see again
Plus now, on top of everything else,
It looks like I am going to be late to work

Oh, Why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?
Why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?

Oh, the other day my boss said we were running low on toner
And he told me I should buy another case
Welll, I told him I was busy,
but he still kept on asking
So I turned around & stabbed him in the face
Oh, & wouldn´t you know it?
My knife got stuck
I guess that is probably bound to happen now & then
But I am afraid I may have bent the tip a little
And I know that blade will never be quite as sharp again

Oh tell me, why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?
Why does this always happen...
Why does the always happen to me?

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