Weird Al Yankovic - Hardware Store lyrics

Album: Poodle Hat (2003)

Nothin´ ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin´ low down (down) not a lot to do around here
I thought that I´d go right out of my mind
Till a friend told me the news
He said, Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they are going to build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts & screws
Since then I have been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
´Cause I am so excited & I really don´t care
I have been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I am so happy (happy) now just to be alive
´Cause any minute now I am going to be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I cannot wait, (no I) I cannot wait (oh when)
When are they going to open up that door?
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be 1st in line
Going to get me a flashlight & a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles & miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they are doing a promotional stunt
Theres a great big purple sign out front
That says every 2seventh customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I cannot wait, (no I) I cannot wait (oh when)
When are they going to open up that door?
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff...
They´ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods & water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans & dehumidifires
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Pain´t removers, window louvres, masking tape & plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks & tackle, grout & spackle, power foggers, spoons & ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats & bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells & Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt & pepper shakers

I cannot wait, (no I) I cannot wait (oh when)
When are they going to open up that door?
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store
I am goin´ (yes I am) goin´, I am a-goin´ to the
Goin´ to the (hard) ware I am goin´, really goin´ to the
Goin´ (hard) I am goin´ to the (hard) oh yes I am goin´ to the
Hardware store

Weird Al Yankovic Ringtones