Weird Al Yankovic - Genius In France lyrics

Album: Poodle Hat (2003)

I am not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I am dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I am a genius in France (yea), genius in France, genius in France

Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATs
I am not good looking & I do not know how to dance
But nevertheless & in spite of the evidence I´m still widely considered to be
A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France

People say I am a geek, a moronic little freak
An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they would´ve to water me twice a week

But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon & shriek
They dig my mystique, they say I am c´est magnifique
When I am in Par-ee, I am the chic-est of the chic

They love my body odor & my bad toupee
They love my stripey shirt & my stupid beret
And when I am sipping on a Perrier
In some cafe town in St. Tropez

It is hard to keep the fans at bay
They say, "Sign my poodle, s´il vous plait"
"Sign my poodle, s´il vous plait"

Hemenene humenene
himenene homenene
Poodle... poodle...

Folks in my hometown think I am a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool

A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missing on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I could not pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

Instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel

But when I am in Provence, I get free croissants
Yea, I am the guy every French lady wants
And if you ask em why, you are bound to get this response
(He has a genius in France! Genius in France!)

That is right
(He has a genius in France, genius in France)
You know it
(He has a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)

I am not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
But the folks in France, they do not seem to agree
They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?"

I say, "Oui, oui"
That is right, I say, "Oui, oui"
"Oui, oui"
He says, "Oui, oui"

I am dumber than a box of hair
But those Frenchies don´t seem to care
Don´t know why, mon frere
But they love me there

I am a genius in France
Yea, I am a genius in France

Going to make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
Going to make those Frenchies scream
"You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"

Like a fine Renoir (waa), I have got that je ne c´est quoi (quoi!)
Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I have got that je ne c´est ...
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow

[snort]

I am a taco short of a combo plate
But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I am great
Oh, the men all fain´t & the women scream
They like me more than heavy cream

When I am in Versailles, I am a popular guy
My oh my, I am as French as apple pie (apple pie)
They think I am awfully witty, a riot & a half
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw)
And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)

People in France have lots of attitude
They are snotty & rude, they like disgusting food
But when they see me, they just come unglued
They think that I´m one happening dude

Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
I am about as sharp as a bowling ball
But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle

Entre nous, it is very true
The room temperature´s higher than my IQ
But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
How did this happen; I do not have a clue

Well, I am not the quickest tractor on the farm
I do not have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like I am all covered with ants
But I am a genius in France (yea), genius in France, genius in France

And I am never goin´ back, I am never goin´ back
I am never never never never goin´ back home again
I am tearin´ up my return flight ticket
Going to tell the folks back here where they can stick it

´Cause I am never goin´ back
I am never goin´ back
I am never goin´ back

The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho´ ´nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
And I am aware that it is a most improbable circumstance
But "Great Googily Moogily!", I am a genius in France

Every Frenchie that I meet
Just can´t wait to kiss my feet
Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite!

Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy

I am gettin´ even more famous by the hour
I am stuffed with pastries & drunk with power
Now they are puttin´ up my statue by the Eiffel Tower

A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left

I am the biggest dork there´s alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me ´until I was 35
And I forgot to mention
I am not even welcome at the Star Trek convention

But the Frenchies think
That my poop don´t stink
I am a genius in France

Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
Merci beaucoup

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