Weird Al Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong lyrics

Album: Bad Hair Day (1996)

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
with a rabid wolverine in my underwear
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
popped right up & cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Luis
is it Bob or Joe or Walter
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve
I probably would of kept on guessing
but about that time we crashed into the truck
and as I am laying bleeding there on the asphalt
finally I recognized the face of my Hibachi dealer
who takes off his prosthetic lips & tells me

Everything you know is wrong
black is white up is down & short is long
and everything you thought was just so important
Doesn´t matter everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words & sing along
all you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong!

I was walking to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
when i accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
who has faces kinda looked like Jamie Barr
they sucked out my internal organs & took some polaroids
and said I was a darn good sport & as a way of saying thank you
they offered to transport me back to any point in history
that I´d care to go
and so I had them send me back to last thursday night
so I could pay my phone bill on time
just then a floating disembodied head of Colonal Sanders started yelling

Everything you know is wrong
black is white up is down & short is long
and everything you thought was just so important
Doesn´t matter everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words & sing along
all you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong!

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
when I got a nasty paper cut
and well to make a long story short it got infected & I died
so now I am up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates
and its obvious he does not like the Nehru jacket that I am wearing
he tells me that they´ve got a dress code
well he lets me into heaven anyway
but i get the room that is got a noisy ice machine for all eternity
and everyday he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong
black is white up is down & short is long
and everything you used to think was so important
doesn´t really matter anymore
because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong just forget the words & sing along
All you need to understand is everything you know is wrong
(everything you know is wrong) Everything you know is wrong

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