Ian Dury And The Blockheads - Poo-Poo In The Prawn lyrics

I took a sudden notion
To go down to the ocean
I would got my sun-tan lotion
My flippers & my mask

In proper distribution
Of fully-formed ablutions
Formed an ocean of pollution
In which I daredn´t bask

Some turds were teeny-tiny
And some were big & shiny
But they all f*cked up the briney
In which I dipped my toe

If you go swimming in the shite-us
You will get worse than dermititis
From the sea of grey detritus
Where the sewage ebbs & flows

Theres no respite
From the cess-pit
No shelter from the pong
The poor old ocean
Is full of motions
Where the hell did we go wrong?

Like a lamb off to the slaughter
Pored myself a glass of water
I failed to spot I would caught a
Little creature in my cup

I was well & truly bolleaux-ed
From the fires of hell that followed
T´was the cup of life I would swallowed
And it almost did me up

Smth coming
Through the plumbing
That should not be there at all
The glass is brimming
And things are swimming
And quite frankly, I am appalled

I was a very hungry fella
I defrosted my paella
Came down with Salmonella
Three weeks intensive care

They failed to send technicians in
To check the air-conditioning
Which was unfortunately transmissioning
A case of Legionnaires

Theres a malaise
In the mayonnaise
Theres a poo-poo in the prawn
Where we missed them
In the system
Little germs are being born
Theres no respite
From the cess-pit
Theres no shelter from the pong
Where the hell did we go wrong?

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